


Dreams and Nightmares

by visionshadows



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Female Evgeni Malkin, Female Pregnancy, M/M, Pirates, Rock Star Sidney Crosby, Still Hockey Players (Hockey RPF), just a lot of aus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:13:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24478522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/visionshadows/pseuds/visionshadows
Summary: Zhenya's dreams take a lot of turns.
Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin
Comments: 20
Kudos: 56
Collections: The 2020 Sid/Geno Exchange





	Dreams and Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Batik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batik/gifts).



Zhenya fumbles with the ridiculous buttons on the too tight pants Anna dressed him in, cursing to himself that he let her do this when he has a fucking broken hand. He definitely needs another hand to do this. 

There’s a bathroom attendant and he’s starting to calculate just how much he’s going to have to tip him to get him to button his pants when he hears the sound of heels exiting from the stalls behind him. The water runs and Zhenya keeps his back towards the urinal, hoping whomever it is doesn’t notice his … issue.

He’s not that lucky and the heels tap against the floor towards him. “Having a problem?”

Zhenya clears his throat, his face warm. “Nope. Fine.”

“Really? Anya didn’t do you any favors with those pants.” There’s a long pause. “Though they do make your ass look amazing.”

A hand waves in his peripheral vision, the nails painted black. “You look like you need one of these.”

It’s SC. Zhenya knows it’s SC. Zhenya’s luck is just that bad that the man he was literally drooling over with Anna while he performed would be the one to find him unbuttoned in the bathroom. 

Zhenya turns, holding the pants shut with his good hand. SC – _fuck _– still has his hand extended towards him, his head tilted with a bemused smirk on his face. Not that Zhenya can see much beyond his mouth and some of his lower jaw.__

__No one’s seen SC’s face which is his thing. He wears elaborate masks and veils in public to keep people from knowing who he actually is. The mask he’s wearing today is a black crown with metal chains looped all over his face and black lace covering the skin. Brilliant garnets rest under his eyes on the apple of his cheeks, dripping down like tears. Zhenya can’t see his eyes, but he knows they’re hazel with gold glints._ _

__He may have a crush on SC which is how Anna even got him to come with her to this stupid awards show in the first place. Everything in his life is entirely Anna’s fault._ _

__SC wiggles his fingers again. “Now Mr. Malkin, I promise I won’t take any liberties. I’ll just button those lovely pants of yours and we can be on our way.”_ _

__Zhenya licks his lips before slowly nodding. “Yes. Thank you. Have – ” he holds up his broken hand in its cast. “You see.”_ _

__“Yes I do. I’m a fan.” SC steps closer and in the immensely high heels he’s wearing, he’s almost the same height as Zhenya. His hands drop to Zhenya’s hips and Zhenya tries desperately not to make a noise when he squeezes. “Are you adjusted the way you want or do I need to do that as well?”_ _

__Zhenya swallows thickly, looking down at SC’s full red lips. “Probably should check.”_ _

__SC leans in more and Zhenya feels the chains from his mask brushing against his skin. “Good idea,” he breathes into his ear. “I want to be thorough.”_ _

__Zhenya’s completely forgotten that they’re in the middle of a bathroom as SC slides a hand into his pants, gripping his dick with sure fingers. Zhenya doesn’t know what to do with his own hands; SC’s wearing an outfit that is essentially a ball gown over skintight pants. It’s open in the front so he could touch those ample hips. If he’s allowed._ _

__“Can I?” Zhenya asks as SC tugs his dick out of his pants in full view of God and the bathroom attendant._ _

__“Of course,” SC presses his lips against Zhenya’s cheek. “We should go into a stall. Follow me.”_ _

__Zhenya lets himself be led by his dick into a stall where he’s immediately pressed against the wall, SC’s hand over his mouth. Except SC is Sid, the mask gone and Sid’s mangy beard visible. His hair is too long and curling at his collar. The boat sways under his feet, the air musty and everything dark and cramped around them._ _

__“Shh,” Sid whispers, moving his hand. “We have to be quiet or else someone might hear us.”_ _

__Zhenya blinks, looking around, incredibly confused because he was pretty sure he was about to get at least jerked off but now Sid is sneaking around ahead of him in striped pants and a long sleeved tunic, his feet bare. He wants to ask questions but he also knows he should listen to Sid. He looks down at himself and he’s dressed the exact same way, his hand no longer broken._ _

__Sid holds up his hand, stopping suddenly. Zhenya bumps into him and Sid glares at him but doesn’t push him away. Instead he reaches his other hand down to tangle with Zhenya’s. His hand is rough and calloused against Zhenya’s, familiar in so many ways._ _

__“This way.” Sid tugs his hand and Zhenya follows him into a little corner behind some crates. Sid slides down against the wall of the ship and the crates, smiling. “Yeah, they’re still here. Come see.”_ _

__Zhenya sits down as well, leaning over Sid’s lap to see a gray tabby cat and four squirming kittens. She looks just like Dixie and Zhenya is momentarily sad, missing her again. Sid pets the mom’s head gently, rubbing under her chin with his finger. She’s tilting her head up and Zhenya can hear her rumbling purr._ _

__“Do you have the bit of meat I gave you?” Sid asks, digging in his own pocket for a small flask._ _

__Zhenya reaches into his pocket and finds a bit of cloth with some dried beef in it. He hands it over to Sid who feeds it to the mom in bits. The kittens are too young to eat food, their eyes barely open. Zhenya touches one of them with his finger, stroking down its tiny back._ _

__Sid pours water into a small bowl and pushes it towards the mom. “I want to move them to our room but I don’t know if everyone is going to be okay with it.”_ _

__“So show me first?” Zhenya asks, still curled over Sid to see them. He looks up at Sid who is watching him carefully, biting on his lip._ _

__“They’ll listen to you,” Sid says, dropping his gaze. “I don’t speak Russian.”_ _

__Zhenya smiles and leans up, his heart full of love for the idiot sitting in front of him. He stole Zhenya away to show him kittens. How could he not love him?_ _

__“I speak for you,” Zhenya murmurs before pressing his lips against Sid’s. The ground is soft beneath them, the grass damp from the morning dew. Sid kisses him back, laughing gently._ _

__Zhenya pulls back and sees Sam sitting next to them, her tail wagging a little at the sound of Sid’s laugh. Sid reaches over and scratches her chest, smiling at her. “We’ll go for a run in a few minutes. You know G has to finish his coffee first or else he’ll never keep up with us.”_ _

__Zhenya looks to his left and sees a cup of coffee, half-full. He lifts it to his lips and takes a sip. It’s perfect – cream, sugar, and temperature. He hums happily. He can hear the water from the lake lapping against the shore and the gentle breeze in the trees. It’s already warm, but not hot._ _

__He knows without having to think hard about it that they’re in Nova Scotia even if he’s never been there before. They’re sitting in Sid’s backyard on the grass, Sid pressed up against his side and Sam with them. There’s no kittens, no boats, no masks, no bathroom attendants. Just a perfect cup of coffee, sunshine, Sid and Sam._ _

__The lake is a little … pink._ _

__He doesn’t think about that. He drinks his coffee and watches as a giant tentacle breaches the water, waving around in the air. Neither Sid or Sam seem surprised so he doesn’t act surprised either._ _

__“Ready?” asks Sid, turning to look at him. And okay, Sid is a little … green. Zhenya looks at his own hand which is also green. Huh._ _

__“Yup.” Zhenya pushes himself to his feet, stretching his arms up above his head. They keep stretching much further than he expects and he looks up to see his hands somewhere around the treeline._ _

__Sid is leaning over to stretch his hamstrings and Sam is dancing around, her horns glinting in the sun. Zhenya thinks about making his arms shorter and they are back to normal. So they’re … monsters. Or something._ _

__The coffee was still perfect and it’s still a gorgeous day. He hates running but he can probably spend most of the run staring at Sid’s ass. Sid grins at him happily, leaning in to press a quick kiss to his lips._ _

__“5 miles, G. And no cheating by making your legs longer.”_ _

__Zhenya gives him a wide-eyed, innocent look. “I never do. Most honest, Sid. Never cheat.”_ _

__Sid sticks out his tongue – which is forked _holy shit_ \- at him. “Tell that to someone who hasn’t practiced face offs against you.”_ _

__Zhenya grabs him around the waist and kisses him messily all over his face, laughing as Sid pushes against him, trying to escape, but laughing as well. Sam starts to bark, a strange high-pitched whistle, jumping around them until Zhenya lets go._ _

__Sid shakes his head. “You’re not getting out of running by starting anything. That’s not going to work again.”_ _

__“We run. I’m not try anything.” Zhenya held up his hands. “I just kiss.”_ _

__Sid narrows his eyes at him and picks up his water bottle, handing a second one to Zhenya. They weren’t there a minute ago, but Zhenya’s not going to question it. The giant tentacle in the lake is still waving around. Magically appearing water bottles are no big deal._ _

__They start to run, Sid and Sam running in front of him and Zhenya does concentrate mostly on Sid’s ass. The woods in Cole Harbor are oddly full of palm trees and magnolias. It smells nice._ _

__Sid points to a house behind some trees. “That’s Nate’s place.”_ _

__“We visit?”_ _

__Sam goes bounding through the trees towards the house, leaving them behind. Sid shakes his head and keeps on running. “Sam will. She likes visiting Henry and Duke. I’m sure Nate will come by later.”_ _

__Zhenya runs, sweat pooling at the small of his back. He pulls his shirt up to wipe at his face. He hates running so much. He pulls his shirt back down and they’re on Sid’s dock, the run over. He should have tried that earlier in the run._ _

__Sid’s shirt is off, his skin shining and green in the sun. The tentacle in the water is waving at Sid and Sid is waving back. Sid looks over at him. “Have I introduced you guys?”_ _

__Zhenya points at himself and then at the tentacle. “To that?”_ _

__“Don’t be xenophobic,” Sid sighs. “Gary is very nice. We go fishing together all the time.”_ _

__“Gary?” Zhenya looks at Sid, incredulously. “It’s named Gary?”_ _

__“I can’t pronounce his name right so he said to call him Gary. He’s not an it, G.” Sid crosses his arms over his chest, looking angry now. “Seriously are you going to be a dick to my friend?”_ _

__Another tentacle breaches the water and Zhenya looks over at it, sighing. “No.” He waves at the tent – _Gary_. “Nice to meet, Gary! I am Evgeni. Can call Geno or G.”_ _

__There’s a long, low hum and the air seems to vibrate around them. Zhenya is absolutely sure that Gary just said it was nice to finally meet him and he’s heard a lot about him from Sid. All good things of course._ _

__Sid puts his arm around Zhenya’s waist, leaning his head against his shoulder and seems so happy that Zhenya just goes with it. There’s a tentacle monster in Sid’s lake named Gary. That’s a totally normal thing apparently._ _

__“Come on,” Sid says after a few minutes of vibrating air. “Let’s go get cleaned up.”_ _

__Zhenya leans over to pick up his water, straightening up to the sound of thousands of people screaming and the crash of bodies into the boards next to him. He squirts water into his mouth and looks to his left – Patty – then to his right – Rusty. Okay._ _

__Sid’s screaming at the guy that crushed him into the boards, spitting curses every other word. It still turns him on to hear Sid curse. It’s probably weird but hey, everyone has their thing. His thing happens to be Sid worked up on the ice._ _

__It gets even better a moment later when Sid steals the puck, puck handles around three defenders and scores a highlight reel goal. Zhenya’s hard in his jock. Not the first time. He jumps up to bump Sid’s fist, congratulating him on the goal and ignoring the knowing look Sid gives him as he goes over the boards for his shift._ _

__The game is chippy even though Zhenya has no idea what team they’re playing. He can’t see the color on the sweaters or the insignia. None of the names or numbers are on the back. He’s playing a game of hockey against a faceless team._ _

__In fact, as the game goes on, the only people he even can put a face to are Patty, Rusty, and Sid. He can hear Tanger and Horny, but he can’t see them. There are people all around and the crowd is screaming, but it’s all very fuzzy._ _

__Sid is still cursing when he sits down next to him. “Fucking prick,” Sid spits out his mouthguard into his glove. That really shouldn’t be hot and Zhenya knows it. “Nice shot on your last shift.”_ _

__“Good goal,” Zhenya returns, bumping his shoulder against Sid’s. Sid bears his teeth, looking wild with pride. The only time he’ll look like this is during a game so Zhenya revels in the momentary drop of Sid’s facade. He loves seeing Sid’s pride in himself._ _

__Sid starts to talk, just running commentary on the game and it flows over Zhenya like it always does. He nods and watches the game, leaning his head close to Sid’s. He looks at the gestures Sid makes, knows the shape of the plays Sid is sketching._ _

__“...I could suck your cock on the bench,” Sid finishes._ _

__Zhenya blinks, turning his head to look at Sid in surprise. “What?”_ _

__“Just making sure you’re paying attention,” Sid grins, popping his mouthguard back in. “Power play, bud. Let’s go.”_ _

__“Hate you,” Zhenya mumbles as he follows Sid over the boards. Sid heads to center ice before turning towards him._ _

__“You take him,” Sid says, handing him Nikita who is sleepily rubbing his eyes. “I’ll get the bags.”_ _

__Zhenya shifts Nikita to his hip and rubs his back gently, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He watches Sid grab about five bags at once before handing him Nikita’s backpack to carry. It’s blazing hot out and Zhenya either wants to get in the air conditioning or the pool._ _

__The condo is cool and comfortable when they get inside and Zhenya sets Nikita down on the couch. He immediately curls back up with his blanket and falls asleep. Sid chuckles, low and sweet._ _

__“Traveling always makes him so tired,” Sid says quietly._ _

__“Me too,” Zhenya yawns, stretching his arms and arching his back. It aches low and fierce and so do his hips._ _

__“Aww sweetheart,” Sid sighs, slipping his arms around Zhenya’s waist. “Why don’t you go lie down? I’ll get us unpacked.”_ _

__“You come. Niki too,” Zhenya rests his arms on Sid’s shoulders. “Is lots of time. Not need to do now. Come cuddle us.”_ _

__“Okay,” Sid leans up to kiss him gently. He rests a hand on Zhenya’s stomach for a moment which is odd. “I’ll get Niki. You go lie down and we’ll be right behind you.”_ _

__Zhenya rubs a fist into the small of his back as he walks towards the bedroom. He yawns widely and makes a detour to the bathroom, slumping on the toilet because it’s just easier to sit when he’s this tired. He feels weirdly damp after peeing which is – he blinks oddly at the swell of his stomach on his lap. What the hell?_ _

__He reaches between his legs and his dick is missing. He is definitely touching a vagina and by default, urine. Zhenya pulls his hand back and grabs toilet paper, wiping his hand and then himself off before pulling his pants up._ _

__The woman staring back at him in the mirror is probably what a female version of him would look like. A pregnant female version. Zhenya leans over to wash his hands and she does as well. There’s a diamond ring on his left hand and a wedding band on his right hand._ _

__So this is happening._ _

__Zhenya reaches up and cups his left breast. “Huh.”_ _

__“Everything okay?” Sid asks through the door. Zhenya jumps and drops his hand, feeling oddly guilty even though it’s technically his breast. He opens the door, smiling at the sight of Sid holding a sleeping Nikita. Who looks a lot like Sid. Okay then._ _

__“Yeah. Tired.”_ _

__Zhenya almost misses Gary the tentacle monster as he slides into bed with Sid, Nikita bundled between them. At least he had his dick then even if it was green. He’s pretty sure he was boning Sid in that world. Maybe if he thinks about Gary he could go back there._ _

__The bed is just like he remembers it, comfortable and wide. Sid reaches over to tuck a lock of his hair behind his ear. Zhenya turns his face into Sid’s hand, kissing his palm lightly. Sid rubs his thumb along Zhenya’s cheekbone and Zhenya smiles._ _

__“I wish we could stay here all summer,” Sid admits, his voice low. The room is dark with the curtains pulled shut. “You’re so happy here.”_ _

__“Happy with you,” Zhenya says honestly. “Here, Pittsburgh, Nova Scotia, Russia. If with you, I’m be happy.”_ _

__Sid presses his lips together tightly and Zhenya swears he sees tears. Has he never said that to him before? He can’t remember. It feels like he should have told Sid that before._ _

__“Sid?”_ _

__“Me too,” Sid whispers. “I still don’t know how I got so lucky. I have everything I ever dreamed of right in this bed.”_ _

__“Don’t see Cup,” Zhenya teases._ _

__Sid shakes his head. “This is better, Jenny.”_ _

__Zhenya’s floored, his chest cracked open at Sid’s admission. Part of him knows this is just his subconscious telling him what he wants to hear. He feels somewhat aware enough to know he’s asleep and dreaming._ _

__The rest of him wants to believe it. That Sid really is in love with him, loves him more than the Cup, more than hockey. Sure there’s a child in this dream and another on the way. He’s not Zhenya or even Geno. He’s Jenny. He can still feel all the other parts of his dream, threads twisting around him and they all involve Sid caring about him. Him caring about Sid in return._ _

__Sid leans over and kisses him and it’s so familiar. Zhenya closes his eyes and let himself drift in the warmth of the bed, Sid’s soft lips, the sound of Nikita’s breathing. He wants to believe in this Sid’s love._ _

__Zhenya blinks up at the ceiling of Sid’s bedroom, feeling oddly hollow and still tired. He turns his head to look at the clock but it’s fuzzy without his glasses on. It’s bright out so it’s morning. Sid is still snoring next to him, face mashed up against the pillow. Zhenya reaches over to smooth down Sid’s wild curls. It’s useless, too long since he’s had a haircut. Zhenya loves the curls even though Sid hates them._ _

__He’s got to pee so he gets out of bed, fumbling with his glasses to see the clock and so he doesn’t trip on any clothes on the floor. It’s after 9 which would be late for both of them but time has no meaning right after the season ends._ _

__Zhenya’s very happy to see his dick when he goes to the bathroom. His dreams are starting to disappear. He looks at his reflection and is briefly surprised to see himself and not a woman. He brushes his teeth just in case Sid wants to start something when he wakes up._ _

__Sid is rubbing his face against the pillow when Zhenya gets back into the bedroom. Zhenya opens the curtains just enough to let some sun in, resulting in a low groan from Sid._ _

__“Why would you do that?” Sid moans into the pillow._ _

__“Is morning,” Zhenya says as he gets back into the bed, turning onto his side to face Sid. The name Gary flickers across his mind for a moment before it disappears. He wrinkles his nose, wondering why he would be thinking of Bettman right now. “Late.”_ _

__“I had weird dreams,” Sid said, turning his face to look at Zhenya. He’s got pillow creases in his skin and his face is still swollen with sleep, but he’s smiling. “We had an octopus living with us. At least I think it was an octopus. Squids have the pointed head, right?” Zhenya nods. “So yeah, like just in the house.”_ _

__“In tank?” Zhenya reaches up to brush his hand through Sid’s hair._ _

__“No that’s the weird part. It was just in the house. It wasn’t in water. It just moved around the house like a big oozing blob. It ate dinner with us and everything. It was like a roommate.”_ _

__“No name?” Zhenya’s smiling now as well, the hollow feeling he had when he woke up gone. It’s all been replaced by Sid’s stupid dream and sleepy smile._ _

__“Nah. Well, it probably had one but I don’t remember it. You know how dreams disappear.”_ _

__“I love you,” Zhenya replies, touching Sid’s face. “Dream so dumb. Love you so much.”_ _

__Sid laughs, eyes half-moons with how wide his smile is. “It was so dumb.” He leans over to kiss Zhenya, awful morning breath and all. “I love you. I really love these glasses.”_ _

__“I know.” Zhenya waggles his eyebrows at him before settling into a serious expression. “I’m want say something. I’m happy. Is best place here with you. Could be in Miami or Russia. So much better with you. Sorry if you not know.”_ _

__“I’m really glad you stayed. Even if it’s just for a few weeks longer,” Sid smiles at him, running a hand over Zhenya’s side. “It’s different when we have no real demands on our time. We can just be us for a bit.”_ _

__Zhenya scratches his fingers through Sid’s mangy beard, making him giggle. “Is nice.”_ _

__“You could come with me to Canada,” Sid says after a moment. “If you want. Or I could come with you to Russia.”_ _

__“Have Russia visa?” Zhenya asks gently. “Can’t just go.”_ _

__Sid looks chagrined. “No. I haven’t had one since Sochi.”_ _

__“Is okay. We plan next time. We do private visa. No problems,” Zhenya assures him, leaning in for another kiss._ _

__Sid rests his head under Zhenya’s chin, cuddling up against him. So maybe no starting anything, Zhenya thinks as Sid’s breathing evens out. He strokes his hand along Sid’s back, looking back up at the ceiling. This is good too._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank my betas Dine and 71tenseventeen for helping me out on this fic. I had a lot of trouble coming up with a single idea and the longest idea I had didn't want to be written so I decided to write all of them, just in small bits. I hope you enjoyed it, icedbatik!


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